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    Home»Opinions»Opinion | How to Find a Date in a Country with Over 30 Million Extra Men
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    Opinion | How to Find a Date in a Country with Over 30 Million Extra Men

    Team_Benjamin Franklin InstituteBy Team_Benjamin Franklin InstituteDecember 12, 2025No Comments3 Mins Read
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    How to Find a Date in a Country with Over 30 Million Extra Men

    A decade after the end of the one-child policy, China has over 30 million so-called surplus men. Can this dating boot camp help them find love?

    Why aren’t you married? You’re in your late 20s. No one wants to marry me. No one wants to marry me. So work harder. If you have good jobs, you can find a girl to marry you. OK, OK. You should find a rich girlfriend, since you have no money. Introduce one to me. — Package for Ma? I work from 6:30 a.m. until after 9 p.m. For very little money. When I am not sleeping, I’m working. No time for dating. I’ve never had a real girlfriend, and I’m envious of others. When TikTok became really popular a few years ago, my feed was full of videos that teach you how to get a girl. That’s how I got to know Hao. My name is Hao. I’m a dating coach. Most of my clients are defined as failures, but they shouldn’t be deprived of love. You see how good this style is? Much more handsome than before. Great for photos. My forehead is too big. Too high. By the end of this dating boot camp, I want them to see themselves completely differently. Lower. OK. Handsome. So handsome. Do I look at you? — No, look ahead. Infinite handsomeness. That’s it. This is good. Put your legs on the table. Look arrogant. Act like a king. Great. Swing up. Hold that position. Why is it so awkward? Watch how he does it first. Jump faster. Like you’re running. Faster, faster. Am I done? My feet are cramping. I grew up in a very poor rural village. I remember playing with friends along the road. We’d see abandoned baby girls. It was disturbing. Since all I interacted with growing up were boys, I know nothing about how women think and feel. No one taught me about relationships. My father … Instead of having conversations with me, whenever I share my thoughts with him, he responds with nothing. The relationship I want will allow me to be myself. We can take care of each other, and have heartfelt conversations. And then I can finally feel … love. Hi. I just noticed you. Can I add you on WeChat? No, thank you. I mean well. You look nice. OK, bye. The one in white shirt. You go. Go. Don’t push me. Hello. You seem classy. Can I add your WeChat? I’m married. — Thanks. Sorry to bother you. What’s the rush? She’s too tall. Don’t be scared. Hello, miss. Can I add you on WeChat? Tell me if you see anyone pretty. What’s your type? Just point out whoever you think is pretty. I think you like the ones with long legs. Hello. Can I add your WeChat? I have a boyfriend. Sorry. Sorry to interrupt. Hello, miss. Can I have your WeChat? No. Hello, miss. Hello. Hello. There’s just so much pressure on men right now. Given what society is like today, as an ordinary man … I can change nothing. Who am I to choose love right now?

    A decade after the end of the one-child policy, China has over 30 million so-called surplus men. Can this dating boot camp help them find love?

    By Violet Du Feng

    December 12, 2025



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